500

It's my 500th post.

I realized about a month ago that this was going to be happening.  Ever since then I've been thinking that I should write something poignant for my 500th.  Something heartfelt.  Something moving.

But really, 98.4% of this blog is sarcasm and sass. Why stop now?  There's really no reason to go all mushy on you just because I've written more than 499 posts.  So today, friends, we're talking:

Humidity.

We live in the desert.  It's dry.  Freakin' dry.  I'll tell you a funny story.  I grew up in Tucson. My friend Krista (of the blog From Colfax to Xela) grew up in Pennsylvania.  My friend Sarah grew up in Midland, Texas.  We all met in graduate school in Greeley, Colorado.  One summer day Sarah and I (Texas and Arizona, remember) were sitting in the student room fanning ourselves, trying to get some relief from the sweltering, oppressive humidity.   Krista (Pennsylvania) at this exact same time was commenting on how dry Colorado was.  Sarah and I pointed out that 40% humidity was nothing- it was like a sauna compared to our homes.  Krista wanted us to define "dry".  We told her to try 10% or less and then we'd talk. 

Moving on.  Every single time that it has gotten cold this winter Spencer's asthma has spun out of control.  Cold in Phoenix means cold, dry air.  Then the heat comes on and dries out the air even more.  The news reported once that the relative humidity in December was 4%.  4 %!

After Spencer's last asthma attack (when we almost took him to the ER at 2 am) we decided we needed more humidifers.  We've had one in his room and one in our room, but we thought it would be wise to humidify more of the house. 

So, here now, for my 500th post: A tour of the humidifiers in our house.

Meet Elephant in Spencer's room.  We keep this thing cranking.

Meet Penguin in the hallway.  Yes, we're making moist air in the hallway.

Meet Elephant 2 in our room.  He doesn't have a boo boo.  The red light on the on switch is annoying at night and a band-aid does a nice job of dimming it.

Meet Frog in the dining room.  He's a happy little guy.

Meet Duck in the family room.

When we started, the humidity in the family room was 14%.  We got it to 38% after 4 days.  It took 8 days of running all these animals 24 hours a day to get the humidity to 52%.  Optimal humidity is between 40 and 50%.

If we leave the door closed to Spencer's room and leave Elephant on all day we can get it up to 80%. We aim for 60% though.  It takes the heat coming on one time to suck 20% out of the air.

This is Pig.  Pig is not in our home because  Pig is not available in the store. Pig can be ordered and shipped, with shipping costs.  I love Pig.  I hate paying for shipping.  I do long to introduce Pig to the living room.

I am happy to report that all this humidity seems to be helping.  I think the cold, dry air was way worse for Spencer's asthma than his dog allergy.  It's a good thing too, because all this humidifying is work. In addition to being parents, spouses and having jobs, Michael and I now have the responsibility of keeping 5 humidifers filled, running, and clean.  It takes about 55% of our leisure time every week.

Meet 1 Gallon Bottle of Bleach.  He sterilizes all 5 humidifiers.

Meet 1 Gallon Bottle of White Vinegar.  He cuts through the hard water build up.

Do you know about the hard water in Arizona?  It's ridiculous.  You could fill a glass with water,

let it sit and evaporate and in about a week you'd be left with this. 

  I'm now dusting our furniture like 6 times a week because it's covered in the soft, powdery white film that comes from minerals in the water vapor.

In summary:

• I need the pig humidifier.
• If you'd like to experience the tropics in Arizona, come to our house.  It's pretty misty.
• If you need me and I'm not answering the phone I am filling or cleaning a humidifier or dusting.
• Thanks for reading my blog.  Are you ready for the next 500?

P.S. Want to just make my day?  If you read this, leave me a comment.  You don't need to sign up for anything.  You don't need to log in.  You don't have to leave your name.  You can just select "anonymous" after you click on "# comments".  You don't have to say anything of substance.  Just say "I read this" or "hi" or "I was here" or "Kilroy was here".  Even if you're reading this months from now.  I'll get the email alert.   Pretty please?  It'll take less than 1 minute.  Probably less than 30 seconds. Do it in honor of my 500th post. 

P.P.S  Yes- I was talking to you.  And you.  And you too.  And my parents.  And my in-laws.