List Friday

Things that FREAK ME OUT

1) Spinal taps.

Oh my god. You're going to drill a hole into my spinal cord and take my spinal fluid? No thank you. I'm still shocked that I consented to having an epidural (essentially the same thing) when Spencer was born. In hindsight I was bullied into it by the nurse. I might try to (GASP) try it natural next time. Getting the epidural was the worst part of childbirth. That might have something to do with the fact that the doctor had to do it 5 times before she got it right.

2) The idea of not knowing where Spencer is. Like, him being kidnapped or something. It's too terrible to even talk about. I plan on connecting him to me with a rope from here on out.

3) Swimming in an open body of water and not knowing what is underneath you. I'm convinced that every lake has a Loch Ness monster. 4) Along the same lines- saltwater crocodiles. At least 10 years ago I saw some video footage of crocodiles swimming in the ocean by Australia. It still haunts me. 5) And continuing with this theme- great white sharks. Holy crap! I know this picture is fake and I knew it was fake the first time I got it in an email. I still cried a little bit when I saw it though. 6) Waking up from an extended coma to find that Ginger is dead, Spencer's in college, Michael's remarried (thanks a lot) and the last thing I remember is 2009. I just want my life back!

7) Tracheotomy/Tracheostomy. The only time I ever had to excuse myself during a therapy session while I was doing my hospital internship in graduate school was with a trach patient. I think I spent the whole class on voice disorders with my hands covering my throat.
8) Waking up and seeing someone (alien, burglar, etc) standing at the end of the bed. I know that someday Spencer will be old enough to get out of bed on his own and come into our room during the middle of the night. I hope I don't hurt him when he does so.

9) Snakes. Big, little, medium, poisonous, not poisonous, wild, in a cage, whatever- they're all gross. But big snakes are really, really, really gross. 10) Taking the elevator in a tall building. I have no problem being in a tall building once I'm on an actual floor, but the elevator itself is freaky. I prefer elevators in buildings that are 4 floors or less. There. I guess you're armed with a lot of ways to freak me out now. Please don't.