The post has nothing to do with the pictures. I have a funny story to tell and a problem to discuss. I also had some cute pictures to show. I thought I'd mash them all into one.
The funny story:
We were getting Spencer ready for bed last night. Michael and I were both sitting on our bed. Spencer went to the bathroom and then climbed onto our bed to read books. He sits down, turns to us and says, "well hello parents. Mommy, you're a Little Lady and Daddy, you're a Little Father (except he doesn't have "th" so it sounds like fadder). We both laughed and I said, "excuse me". He repeated it....."Mommy is now Little Lady and Daddy is now Little Fadder".
I laughed so hard I stopped breathing.
The cute pictures:
Kid loves his time in the shower.
Dog loves her bed.
The problem:
As I have stated before, we eat dinner together every night. The problem is that our dinner times can stretch out to 1 hour and 15 minutes because Spencer is sooooooooooo slow. He's not a picky eater, he doesn't have oral motor problems that cause him to be a laborious eater and he doesn't complain about what we're serving. His problem, and excuse my language, is that he effs around too much.
For example, at dinner time tonight Spencer told us he was hungry. We sat down to eat and he played with his cup, his straw and his fork for 8 minutes. I timed it. 8 minutes. Not a single bite. So we take the cup and straw away. Then he plays with the napkin. So we take that away. Then he plays with his fingers, which I can't take away, or his food, which I don't want to take away because I want him to eat.
He also talks way too much. Sometimes, and it pains me to say this since I'm a speech therapist who makes a living getting children to talk, I wish he would just be silent for 2 minutes. He talks, non-stop all day long. He even talks in his sleep all night. At dinner time he'll talk for 10 minutes and take 1 bite in that time. He also likes to count how many pieces are left of whatever he has. He'll take a bite, then count, then take another bite, then count. It takes a lot of time. Or he'll eat one bite and then spend 2 minutes telling us what a good job he's doing and how he's eating fast. The best is when he's going on 45 minutes of "eating" and he's half-way done and he goes into a long explanation about how when mommy and daddy were his age we took a long time to eat and our parents had to sit and wait for us.
So, dinner time has become unpleasant because we're constantly taking things away because he is playing with them and we're constantly telling him to stop talking. And it's not working.
Our new plan is that we are going to explain to him that he has a set amount of time to eat and then we'll set the timer for that amount of time. Then, we won't remind him to eat, we won't take anything away from him and we won't tell him to not talk. But when that timer goes off, dinner is over and his food is gone. Our hope is that he'll lose his dinner a few times, be hungry and then stop messing around so much.
My questions are 1) Am I being reasonable in thinking it is unreasonable for dinner to take over an hour? Should we just let him go at his own ridiculous pace? And 2) If you agree that we need to change something here, how much time should we give him? Is 30 minutes good? Should we give him more or less time? He's almost 4, and like I said, being picky is not an issue.
We can just no longer have nights where we sit down to eat at 6:30 and he finishes at 7:45 and in that time the adults eat, put away all the leftovers, unload and then reload the dishwasher, wash all the non-dishwasher dishes, start a load of laundry, read a magazine and make lunches for the next day.
I also apologize for being so whiny and complainy about my amazing son. He really is a great kid and I know we're lucky that this is our biggest issue. It just is a big issue for us right now.
7 comments:
Shoot! If it were me... I'd as YOU your advice.
I'd say 30 minutes should be fine. 45 tops. I totally agree that he is taking too long. And, frankly, now is the time to do something about it. So, no, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.
Can't wait to hear how it goes!
Hmmm. We don't eat together. BVZ gets home too late and I wait for him to eat so we can have 15 minutes together a day. Norah eats by herself at her little table in the kitchen and I either sit with her or talk to her while I am doing dishes, making lunches, etc. She gets really excited to play with her dad when he gets home (he usually arrives about 30 minutes before bedtime), so I threaten that she won't be able to play with him if she doesn't finish dinner first.
My new, somewhat unintended tactic, to deal with tough behavior these days is just to be honest with her. Like tonight, for example. She goes to bed at 8. At 9 she was still begging for more books, songs, insisting she wasn't tired, etc. Finally I just broke it down for her and said that I had been puked on all day by Lou, was exhausted, was starving, and just wanted to watch 16 and Pregnant and eat my bowl of goddamn turkey chili in peace. I may have cried a little for extra emphasis. She patted my arm and told me to stop worrying and she would go to sleep. And she did. Maybe you could tell Spencer that he is making you bananas with his slow eating and you really want him to hurry the eff up so you guys can play a game or something?
I think your little cutie is taking too long to eat and that would drive me crazy too. I think setting a limit is a good idea.
We do both. We sometimes tell our daughter that dinner is over. Other times we just get up and leave. She's sat at the table very, very slowly chewing for over 2 hours before!
Here is my vote...sit him down at the table before dinner starts with his plate, fork, empty glass etc so he can "play" some before he eats. Then eat with him...and when you are done you can start putting food away, doing dishes, making lunch while he finishes. Your table is close enough to the kitchen that you can still chit chat while he eats. This is what we do with Hadley sometimes she takes longer than us...some times shorter. She is at the table when she is eating and gets down when she is done. Just my 2 cents!
okay so good job on bleeping out the weenie but in one pic it looks like he is holding 2 weenie's! lol.
okay so the eating thing. my kids do the same thing...dinner takes an hour. it's ridonculous...
my parents used to set a timer and if we didn't eat we got a beating or got sent out on the porch in the dark.
i would obviously not do that ;) probably just make them go to bed hungry. even though that is kind of harsh too. ugh.
I hope he doesn't become a teacher when he grows up, some days I'm lucky if I have 15 minutes to eat my lunch. Tell him, you're training him for school, you don't get an hour and a half for lunch in school.
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